If you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!

A quote from the lovely Marilyn Monroe today!

It's been over a week since I last posted, and its not for lack of having things to say, I am just so tired at the moment I don't know what to do with myself. After about a week of being too tired to do anything other than drag myself to uni (think its my increase in medication) I have realised its probably not going to get much better, so here I am posting on a friday evening having been up since 6 to do the commute to birmingham for my 9-5 lectures, and only back about an hour ago. That's dedication.

One of the main reasons for me doing this blog, although it might not seem like it, is to try and help me to become less self involved and remind myself by reminding others to look for the positive and the inspiration, rather than dwell on the negative. I tell you this because todays quote is actually something I would like to tell a friend after how she has been feeling this week, but I know that what I have to say will benefit me and (hopefully) some other of you out there...

Failure. We all feel we are failing sometimes, or when things get really tough, our failings can seem overwhelming and we begin to DEFINE ourselves as a failure. I can tell you right now the majority of people that suffer from depression or eating disorders are perfectionists by nature. We seek to strike the perfect balance of everything in our lives, to be a perfect friend, a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend, a perfect daughter/son, a perfect mother/father...the list goes on. It is so unrealistic that every relationship in your life will be going well at one particular moment in time, but we berate ourselves for it, and feel that *we* should have been the better friend, its our fault, we failed at our role. And it can be overwhelming, trying to juggle all the relationships in our life in the exact correct way - trust me, its like trying to walk along a knife edge. Let me tell you something though, the people that really love you, the people that really care, they don't think any less of you when you are less than perfect. And those that do get upset with you, those unsupportive friends/mothers/boyfriends...etc that are out there, well, if they can't handle you at your worst, they sure as HELL don't deserve you at your best!

The truth is, the people who really know us, and I mean truly to the core, they see us at our best even when we aren't. Thats how I see you, my lovely friend. I see you as the best version of yourself that I know you are, even when you may not be being what you class as the best version of yourself, the perfect version, the one who is a perfect friend. I don't change my opinion of you because of how you may have behaved in a week/month/year. you could not speak to me for a year and i would not think you failed me as a friend. I would know you needed to prioritise other things. and isn't that what true friendships, which are the basis of any relationship, are about? To not be offended but to innately know that our friendship is not in jeopardy. ever.

so, anybody out there reading, if somebody in your life cannot cope with you when you are the worst version of yourself, as Marilyn says, they certainly do not deserve you when you are the best. no exceptions.

xxxxxx